I’ve often referred to the emotion, anger, as a jack in the box. People can interact with you (aka wind the box) and it’s playing a very pleasant tune the entire time. You are completely oblivious to the fact that you are winding a feaux jack in the box.
What pops out isn’t a funny clown or a cute teddy bear. No, you just got punched in the nose with ANGER and all you can see are stars as you try to figure out what exactly happened.
I am hyper-aware of this, you see, because that’s what comes out of my box more often than I’d like. If you are someone like me, or love someone like me, my advice to you would be…for starters? Duck and weave.
Anger is a secondary emotion. It’s secondary to tons of negative emotions that are not dealt with in a healthy way. And yes, this is the preacher preaching to the choir. Or no one, that’s okay, too.
I have been married for 17 wonderful years. I really mean that wonderful part. Marrying your highschool sweetheart, traveling everywhere you wanted to go before having a baby 10 years later, reaching for goals and dreams together and holding each other as we cried over losses in a dark room together, well..it really is the fairytale. I won’t play it down or make it small to make anyone feel bigger. I won’t tame the gift God blessed us with when He aligned our paths because He allowed us to be forged in our fires. But those fires burned like hell, that’s a fact.
The first emotion under my Anger Iceberg, to be referred to going forward as AI, is fear. Man, I hate you fear. Hate is a strong word, but it is necessary. Necessary for me to express the level of hatred I hold for fear.
There are 20 emotions under AI and if you can and want to stick with me, I’ll get through each one. Where it originated from for me, my triggers and how I’ve learned to get past it. If I’m not there yet, then I will cross it like I did the others. One step at a time.
I would love to hear about your fears and how they are affecting your life. Or how you are working past them. I know there must be thousands of people out there just like me. My hope is that my story can help you. And by being brave enough to tell it; it helps me, too.