What did you hear?

My experience during a recent visit to a nail salon to get a pedicure.

A female employee approaches me and asks, are you pregnant?

Now this is a question I’ve gotten on a regular basis since I actually was pregnant over 7 years ago. I am 5 ft EVEN. An extra 3 pounds on a person who is vertically challenged shows like 23 pounds. But for the purpose of story telling, my current weight …. 126.

As always, I politely and a tad sarcastically let her know that I am not.

Mid-way through the pedicure comes her sales pitch for organic facials and microblading.

She pointed out how her facial would help with my uneven skin tones as she points at her own face around her eyes and winces a little, referring to my face.

I have uneven skin color around my very thin eyebrows because I had them waxed around the top once and the young lady used wax that was too hot and it burned my face. It was an accident, I was not upset, then or now.

She continues to try to sell the facial, which I was not opposed to, but I didn’t have the time.

Next, she wants to also talk about how it can help my wrinkles. I was sort of humored at this point. I hadn’t really thought about my own wrinkles before. I’m still not sure I have any. But yes, it’s fine to continue to interate the fact that you are 40 and do not look a day over 27. It was true. She was a beautiful lady. Still, I am not interested in the facial today.

How about tattoos or microblading to help my very thin eyebrows? I’m no longer humored. I’m not offended. I’m annoyed that she is STILL talking.

Her next statement? People judge you by your looks. First by your face, then your hair and lastly, eyes. You want those things to be perfect so you stand out.

I responded, “my mouth does that for me.” That and my sparkling personality!!

But I’m thinking….
Do I need to stand out?
Why do you feel like you need to stand out?

I told the employee, “I have had thin eyebrows since I was 4 or 5 years old. I hit my head on a coffee table and there are places that hair will never grow because of it. I’m not sure what I would even look like with full, beautiful eyebrows.” (Truth) This is where she pulls out her phone to show me her before and after of her work.

I’m still getting somewhat of a pedicure here…

Finally, I tell her as frankly as possible, while they are beautiful, I am not interested in any of those things but I want to show my daughter that you do not have to look “perfect” in the eyes of the world to be beautiful.

I think I could have heard a pin drop for about 15 seconds. Until……she decided to spin that and tell me that I should do it because later in life my daughter will see what I did and learn from my mistakes.

Do it to show your daughter what NOT to do. What??

That was the end of that, the owner quickly scooped her up and sent her on her way.

That entire experience showed me so much. Most of it I was/am very aware of. But I guess it reminded me of how much we, as women, BELIEVE THOSE THINGS. That makes me so sad. Sad for the women it is said to, but honestly, mostly sad for the women who SAY those things. It’s sad because they say them because they believe them about themselves.

I have uneven skin tones.
I have very thin eyebrows.
I have a belly pooch since a cescearan. I love that scar. It shows I had a baby after I thought it wasn’t possible.
I have a lazy eye.
I have some gray hair.
I have a scar on my forehead from a pimple when I was 14.
My weight fluctuates all the time. I’ve been a size 2 and a size 16.

I think I’m beautiful and that has NOTHING to do with any outside appearance at all. The beauty I see and feel about myself is all inside beauty. The outside is superficial.

All women have days where they look and feel their best. Those are usually the profile pictures. Let’s not forget that those same women also go get a pedicure on the weekend with no make up and day or two (or three) dirty hair.

I do not fit in anyone’s box. I will never fit in anyone’s box. There is no box I WANT to be in. No box but my OWN.

Be kind to yourself and to others. Don’t measure yourself to others. Don’t measure other people, at all. Period. We are all made by God’s own hand to be unique. We are not meant to be the same. It’s not a puzzle meant to be pieced together.

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